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He was my first love...He let me feel like I was beautiful...desirable. Then things came between us, and we went our separate ways. We came back together, and things were good for a while. Then more things came between us, and we went our separate ways again. I moved on to marriage and kids, and he went on with his own life. We lost touch, as loves and as friends. Then one day we found each other again. I thought it was meant to be, I thought it was gonna last. I left my husband, I moved out on my own, I became independent. I was told daily how sexy I was. I felt like I did in high school. It was, I guess, a way to get my youth back. The youth that left me when I got pregnant at 17. I was married at 18, and by the time I was 23 I had 3 kids. I was a mom, and a wife. I was no longer Debi. Then one day I was able to be me again. It was great for a while. Promises made, feelings released. The feelings never really faded, per say, but they became less than realistic. I was essentially a free woman. Free from my husband, and the life I had known for so many years. Free to be the person I wanted to be. He left me alone enough for me to be able to feel that way, yet was around enough to consider him a relationship.
Then it came one day....I was on the computer, in my usual chat room, talking to my usual friends, making our usual jokes. My sister was right next to me when the man started talking to me. He asked me after a few minutes for my phone number. Now, he didn't have a profile, and I had my own rules, but my sister disregarded these rules and quickly typed in the phone number. Then he called. His voice was deep and southern. Have I ever mentioned I love southern accents? It made me melt. So I talked to him. My sister talked to him, too. Me on one phone, her on the other. He kept calling back. Day after day. I kept talking to him. He would listen to me about my kids, my family, my boyfriend, my problems, my ups, my downs. After about the 3rd time I talked to him, I felt a twinge of jealousy when my sister would get on the phone and do her regular flirty voice. I knew he wasn't my man, and I knew I had one of my own, but somehow, he had gotten to me to the point I wanted to smack her for invading my phone time with him. A year went by with phone calls almost every day. I can honestly say he became my best friend. And I felt like I was his, too. He made it a point to call me. He got back with is ex wife, and I told him he was a dumb ass, but when he told me she had changed, I wanted to believe him, for his sake. My dad had surgery one day and his ex wife's mother was having back surgery. That is when I met him for the first time. I went with my sister down to the other waiting room, and saw him sitting there with her family. I have to admit my stomach did a somersault. I wanted to give him a big hug, but with her there I couldn't. He kept calling me throughout that relationship, and was still there for me. I was there for him to listen to his problems, too. Eventually I got the call that they had broken up again. My heart lept. When he got a new girlfriend, I felt crushed. I couldn't let him know, though. It was not the right time. I wanted to be supportive to him. I wanted him to feel the happiness he deserved. I went and visited him a few times when he was off the road, and we sat and talked. I felt closer to him than any other human I had ever had contact with. An openness was there that made me KNOW he was the one for me. I didn't want to end my relationship I was in. I was afraid of what would happen if I did. Then court got messy, and my relationship ended on the boyfriend's side. I was relieved that he had walked away. I wanted it to work, but at the same time, I knew it wouldn't. I knew deep down that Terry was the man I was supposed to be with. And now I am with Terry. He is the absolute BEST! We have been together almost 2 years and it still seems so brand new. When we decided to move up the wedding, I was like a kid on Christmas. I couldn't wait to be his wife. And now, I am the wife of my best friend, my lover, and the only man I could want to be with. I get to be there for him and help him through difficult times. I get to have somebody here for me when I need them. No matter how small my problems may seem to other people, they are just as important to him as they are to me, and together, we find ways to work them out. It took heartache, and rough times, it took being hurt, and hurting others, but I found love in an older man. He isn't exactly my "type" but I think that makes me more sure about our relationship than I had ever been about anything else. I love him, and I am lucky to have him in my life, and in the lives of my kids.
So, to the first love that helped me out of the marriage, and ended the relationship with me...thank you. Thank you for helping me to be free to be with the man I was meant to marry. I wish everybody could find the happiness I have found. |
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Well, ok, so what has changed...We went to court on the 6th. Guess what happened! It got pushed back AGAIN! I swear Imma be married to this man forever! I really don't wanna be!!! Maybe eventually he will go broke and have no choice but to quit. Found out his dad is selling their house down there, and so he told Brandon to find a new place to live, so Brandon moved in with his grandma. Apparently dad is selling her house, too, though. So, I dunno where he is goin from there. I guess time will tell.
I had a friend stay here for a few days, but she has found another place to stay so I dont have that anymore, now.
Terry was home for about a week. It was so nice to have him here! He went to court with me, and he wasnt happy with the outcome of it, but what can ya do? Bubba's birthday was the 8th. Money prevented us from having an actual PARTY for him, but he still had a good birthday.
Now...about my job...
When I got hired, I was told that they would have me on days by the time school starts, but then the store manager quit. The first day the new manager was there, I told him the same thing and again, I was told no problem. well, I went to him the other day and let him know school starts on the 21st, and he tells me..."problem!" But, he assured me he would find a solution..which, I guess in his mind, he did. His solution: work 16 hour shifts on Saturdays and Sundays and then one 8 hour shift during the week. Not helpful! So now I am looking for a new job!
Ok, well, I guess that about covers it, so I will go.
Later Dayz,
~*~Debi~*~How am I doin'?:  stressed |
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Ok, so today is my 10th wedding anniversary...yay fun!
my kids are driving me nuts today! This morning they came home banging on the door and so I got up with them. They stayed at my mom's last night cuz I was workin late again. Then I went to go to the grocery store and Bubba hauls off and busts his sister's lip open cuz her sucker she got from the bank smelled bad! she retaliated by knocking him in the nose with her elbow! I was in shock! Where did these kids come from and where did my good little kids go??? I promptly took them back to my mother's while I went to the grocery store, because there was NO way I was taking them into public. On the bright side, they are both in counseling now, so hopefully it will be better soon!
I talked to the new store manager last night and he said he is going to do his best to get me on days. I told him flat out if he can't, I will be leaving on the 21st when school starts. My kids are my life and I wont go without seeing them for a job. There are other jobs, so it isnt like it is a matter of life or death that I stay there.
I guess that about does it, other than I broke Terry's truck again, and it cost 120 bucks for a new starter. And he will be home tonight, so I wont be on for a few days.
Later Dayz,
~*~DEBI~*~How am I doin'?:  aggravated Current Music: I love a man with 18 wheels |
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Ok, so my last entry was what? A billion years ago?? WoW! Might help if I remembered this site existed from time to time! Anybody with Yahoo 360 already knows what is goin on with me, but then again, there are some that only get their doses of my soap opera life on here.
So, lets see here...I am still married to Brandon...no shock there, right? We are supposed to go to court on August 6th to finalize it, but chances are it will get stalled again. His lawyer withdrew on the 2nd of July, and he hasn't found a new one. I am hoping the judge will just say "enough is enough!" but, who knows. I guess I will find out in about 10 days or so.
The kids are doing well. Growing faster than I would like them to, but the bricks I put on their heads aren't slowing them down. I have them both starting counseling. Between everything they have been through in the past couple years and everything somebody has been telling them and/or letting them witness, they definitely need it. Hard to believe Sami will be in 4th grade and Bubba in 2nd! I feel OLD!
Speaking of old...lol...Terry will be home in a week! He tried to talk the company into letting him come home for my birthday, but they wouldn't let him. The big meanie heads! No big deal, though. I got my honey coming home to me!! YAY!
Work is going good, too. The truckers love me...no shock there, huh? Apparently they can carry on conversations with me about their jobs and I actually understand most of it. They also like the ways I shoot down their advances...lol. SUCKERS! although, I was given 2 phone numbers and the FedEx drivers like to buy me chocolate. It will be an awesome job, just as soon as I convince them to change my hours to day shift, which they are already doing once school starts. Ok, well, I think that about does it, so I will close.
Later Dayz,
~Debi~How am I doin'?:  chipper |
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Hello all. I just remembered this place, so I figured I would post an update for you all. I got the custody evaluator's report on Friday. He was seemingly very biased and his "recommendation" is that the kids be "Immediately put in the custody of their father". Apparently I am a bad mother who ignores her kids and has them in danger every day. Funny thing is, upon reading Brandon's initial paperwork, his complaints about me, (a bunch of bull) are ironically almost verbatim what the evaluator claims he noticed about me in the few times he met with me.
Either way, I am still here, and my kids are healthy and unharmed, so I guess I cant be all bad. I will try to remember to update you after Monday when we go to court for case management. I am taking my copy of this report to my lawyer, as I have made notes in it about inconsistencies and falsehoods. |
| » HAHA Teri...got u beat!! |
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Oct. 16th, 2006 @ 02:48 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Jul. 19th, 2006 @ 09:40 am
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| » hmmm...lets see.... |
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July 19, huh....well...in 4 days. Terry will be home...in 5 days, I will be 27. 3 days ago was the kids' father's bday, and I let them call him in the morning to tell him happy birthday. He was supposed to call them back right after church and ended up not calling until around 6:30 that evening and we were gone. He left a message saying he would call back and never has yet. Oh well.
My home phone has no line activity whatsoever, so the phone company is sending a technician out tomorrow....er..later today. I thought maybe it was just my phones, but upon further inspection, I discovered it has to be with the outside lines. It is driving me NUTS not having it tho. I still have the cell, so at least I can talk a little on the phone, although I have no reception in the house. Still...I like my phone and I want it back,...NOW!
Terry informed me today that I needed Midol...so I had to go buy some. Apparently I was grumpy enuff to make HIS day worse and he is in Texas. Now THAT is talent right there!!
I have gotten some more members of my fan club...so now I feel even MORE special. LOL...here is a shock..they are men! some have met me before and some havent, but they all seem to think I am marvelous, so lets just let them all live with that dilusion.
I wanted to go swimming today, but I had things to do, and I had my neice and then when Heather called and wanted to go, it was almost time for me to go spend three hours in the sun mowing grass for the insurance guy. THAT was fun, lemme tell ya. Apparently a soft breeze in 95 degree weather is like a fan and keeps a person cool for long periods of time...YEA RIGHT!!! I got his grass cut, tho, and then gave the money to mom and dad to go towards my rent.
Well, I guess that covers about all of it, and I am tired, so I better go to sleep now. SMOOCHIES!
Jul. 19th, 2006 @ 12:10 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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It has been awhile since I have put anything on here, so I figured what the hell. There is 2 weeks till my birthday and terry is coming home for that...YAY!!!!! I miss him like crazy. Dad had surgery again and he is doing really well. I still haven't made it over to Ruthi's to seal her roof, but I swear I will sooner or later. I was supposed to go to court tomorrow, but now I dun have to and I am not sure when I go back, but I do know it is not soon enuff, because I want this damn divorce DONE. My sweet charming nephew has been anything but sweet and charming. He has till tomorrow to get his stuff out of my house cuz I am not dealing with his shit anymore. Oh, and in case ya didnt notice, there is some foul language in this entry...oops...sorry Ruth. Anyway, if there is anything else you wanna know about you can check out my yahoo 360 blog. in the meantime...IZZLE
Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 04:52 pm
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| » ummmmmmmmm |
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So I have a concussion...and am on pain meds. Apparently the whole pain meds making me high humors my sisters. I just pet people a little bit. Now, I am betting you are asking "HOW did she get a concussion?" Well...it is really quite simple. I walked into an air conditioner at the kids school. Why? Because I am Debi and I am an IDIOT! But, ALAS, I am off work for a week, so I can get rest..LOL...cuz THAT will happen...NOT!
Apr. 27th, 2006 @ 01:27 pm
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| » Still alive |
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Alrighty, so I may have forgotten about a little thing called Live Journal for a bit. But here I am and I am gonna tell ya all the interesting things I have been up to since my last entry in January. First and foremost...Teri, I REALLY need to talk to you sweetheart...email me or SOMETHING. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Now, I got a new man. He is AWESOME...and we are getting married...that's right the woman who swore to never get married again is. The kids love him to death and he adores them. He is an OTR trucker, and yet, I have no doubts about us at all or his faithfulness.
The kids are doin great. They both scored above average on their Iowa Skills Tests. Sami is excited that she is learning cursive. Bubba is starting to read. My teenager is a pain in the ass, but what can you expect from a kid with little or no guidance in his life.
it is April 24th and my last day of work is May 18th, so I gotta find a way to make money that doesn't involve becoming a hooker. Speaking of work...I should get off here and get ready for another THRILLING day of supervisory bliss.
Until later....or sooner....2dles
Apr. 24th, 2006 @ 09:21 am
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| » ACK |
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So my holidays sucked...but I will live. I got to hang out with a good friend over Christmas. That was a bright side. The kids got a bunch of junk they didn't need. And a couple things they DID need. I got some pretty cool gifts too...my favorite being my "Nurse Quacktitioner". the kids are still doin good. I think Sami may have gotten my stomach ickies...or she is fakin..either way she is home sick from school today. Went back to work yesterday which I was glad about...cuz I missed getting out of my house. Now I have other stuffs to do. But anybody who feels the urge can send me money...thank you for laughing. Talk to ya'll laters....IZZLE!~
Jan. 4th, 2006 @ 10:13 am
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| » Yes...she is still alive |
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Hi....in case you all forgot me, I am still the wonderful and charming person you all know and love. Just a bit less of a home body latly. I got a "real" job....one outside of the house. I must say I love it. It gets hectic and insane sometimes, but it is a great job with great people. My kids are doing great. And as long as their sperm donor(would be a stretch to call him their dad)stops acting like a 4 yr old, they will continue to do well. They are settled in school, and are in flag football. They are both really happy and healthy, which obviously means that jackoff has not got a leg to stand on for his whole "unfit mother" theory For those of you who may not know, I FINALLY got my GMC Jimmy. And I couldn't be happier with it. It was more than satisfying to see the look of shock on Captain's face when he saw it for the first time....HA HA F*CKER! ANyway, I wanted to let you all know that Debi did not fall off the face of the earth...she just got a life!
Sep. 25th, 2005 @ 08:36 pm
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| » Happy Birthday Jimmy |
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Ok, so today is Jimmy's 3rd birthday, and my kids are spending it with my soon to be ex and my in-laws. those who know the story will understand why that makes me want to scream! Anyway, a friend of mine sent me this poem, and I thought I would share it with all of you who knew and loved Jimmy.
A Birthday In Heaven
© 2005 Written by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday
And felt your heart-sent love
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My birthday (way up here)
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think)
I’m getting lots of hugs from God
He’s really good at that
And every time that I walk by
He gives my head a pat
Balloons will fill the streets for me
They float up through the clouds
And we have lots of clowns up here
That make us laugh out loud
There is a birthday carousel
Jeweled horses ride the wind
With music playing oh so sweet…
The magic never ends
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing
We ride our bikes and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel’s wings
We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts, surprise!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies
Jul. 9th, 2005 @ 01:07 am
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| » I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep |
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Yeah, so life is catching up with me. I am always so freaking busy and get very little sleep. Yesterday I worked for 9 hours moving heavy things and hauling things up and down stairs all day in the heat. Made decent money, but it didn't help much on the exhaustion part. My sunburn from last weekend is starting to peel and making me itch...no good! seeing as how I have nobody here to scratch it for me. I suppose it would be easy enuff to have somebody here, but I just am not looking for a relationship right now. I think my efforts are best concentrated other places. I know, so of you are thinking "what about all those men that are around?" They are friends, and nothing more, except the occasional loan officer...LOL. they have to be good for something, right? (I love you all) My kids spent the day with their dad again yesterday. I figured I would tell you about it since Ruth didn't have to be there this time. They spent most of the day at the park with my mother and apparently it went well. Although my husband now wants to "be my friend". Suuure there is no other reason hidden in that somewhere. Once again, I was up all night with Bubba having nightmares and crying. It happens every Saturday. I wish I knew what to do to make it better for him, but he is afraid of his dad and that his dad will take him again. Sami has pointed out that Daddy only spends most of his time with Bubba on these visits. I do not think that is fair to her, but there is again, nothing I can do about it.
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 10:19 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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What is the most unusual thing on your computer desk?
My answer: a bolt for a bicycle seat. There are actually alot of "strange" things on here, but most of them are somewhat normal for me.
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 10:16 am
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| » Still living |
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I am still alive...for all intents and purposes. Not much time for me tho. In order to attempt to keep my bills paid, I have been babysitting 6 kids a day and then when they leave, I go to another job helping a family friend with odds and ends.
I go back to divorce court on June 29th and the next day I have to go see a stomach specialist. I apparently have ulcers, acid reflux, thickening of the pyloric sphincter and the lining of my stomach is inflamed. Nothing, I am sure, due to stress.
I am thrilled that my in-laws made my sister's time with them pleasant. God knows they rarely bothered to do that for me when I was with their son. Frankly, I think they did it for appearance. Either way, I am happy for Ruthi.
My cat had 6 kittens about 2 or 3 weeks ago. They are so cute and they are just starting to walk around. She moved them from under a shelf in my room to the kids' room. Not sure why she did that, but that is where they have stayed so I assume it is a good place in her eyes.
Sami just finished her first grade year. Well, she goes back on Tuesday for a whopping 15 minutes, but other than that she is done. Which means that both Courtney and Sami will be here all day everyday and I am NOT looking forward to that.
Bubba taught himself to ride a bike with no training wheels. He got the bike and 2 weeks later he was peddling down the road. Now if I could just get Sami to do it we would be in good shape.
Anyway, that is a brief update on my life. nothing spectacular, nothing too horrible. Later days
May. 29th, 2005 @ 07:05 pm
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| » Still breathing |
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here I am for all it is worth. My life is in shambles between a marriage I don't want to be in with a man I can't stand to look at, and the problems of all my friends who look to me for help and advice. Last night I walked in and found a rather amusing sight. My husband sitting at the computer with the web cam on and his pants around his ankles. I asked him if he was having fun and he claimed to just be changing his clothes. Now, I don't care if he is showing some fake woman his penis..the thing I care about is his constant blod faced lies. anyway, i am outta time, I will try to keep up with this better as days go bye.
Jan. 17th, 2005 @ 12:18 pm
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| » How in the hell do I do this???? |
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I don't know how many of you know, and I am not 100% sure how to put all this. I hope it all makes sense when I am through. Yesterday morning, DH took the kids to his mom's for our nephew's birthday party. I am not allowed there, because they hate me, so I stayed home. I went with a friend of mine and we got a call around 5 pm. Jimmy had fallen in the pond and they were having trouble getting him breathing again. My sister drove me down there. It is a 2 our drive, but we made it in about an hour and a half. When we got there, it was too late. He was gone. Turns out, MIL had told DH she would watch the kids while he loaded the truck and trailer with more of our things to bring home. Jimmy had a messy diaper, and she didn't want to change it, so she sent him to go get daddy. He never went to Brandon. 15 minutes after they sent him out...one of the SIX adults in the house hollered out the door that he needed a diaper. DH went to find him, and he was nowhere to be found. They looked all over the yard and up and down the street. DH walked 2 blocks down the street looking for him. When he got back to the house, he walked past MIL's goldfish pond, and saw Jimmy's shirt. He was floating in the water. DH jumped in after him, and got him out, but he wasn't breathing. FIL and DH did CPR until the paramedics got there, and then they took over. They took him to the hospital and worked on him for 2 hours, but there was nothing else they could do, even though Brandon was begging them not to give up. By law, he had to have an autopsy, and they said he didn't hit his head or anything. They also said he was unconscious within 30 seconds, so he didn't suffer. We have to find a funeral home tomorrow. I don't know how I can do this. His parents asked what we wanted them to do with the pond. I said, fill it in and make a flower garden in his memory. His mom said she didn't know what they are going to do, but she wants to keep it!!! They are also mad because we are having the services up here, and he will be buried up here. I want nothing else to do with down there EVER again. They are trying to tell us what outfit he should wear, where to have the service, and where to bury him.
I don't know if it is right, and I don't care...I blame his mother! If she wasn't such a bitch and had just changed his diaper, he would still be here. Or even if they had gone out and gotten Brandon themselves. Or if they had filled in the pond when our niece fell in it twice before! I couldn't even look at the woman. And all she has said to me since on the phone yesterday is "These people called, and they printed a story in the paper making us seem mean, and we are getting it corrected" I read the story...it is VERY accurate.
I know I need to talk about it, but the words don't come easily. Please keep us in your prayers.
Oct. 4th, 2004 @ 01:46 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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Just for the record...Brandon DIDN'T answer the phone, and DIDN'T neglect to give me a message. Sorry to all of you who I may have mislead with my bitchness!
Sep. 18th, 2004 @ 10:24 am
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debbers1979's journal
